I Always Wanted a Family Like Yours
by chisles
Summary: Set after 3x09, Maura has a bunch of feelings and Jane sitting next to her doesn't help. One-shot.


It was shortly after Angela and Frankie left to go out for dinner that Maura and Jane found themselves settled under a blanket on Maura's couch much like two weeks ago. The Olympics were on TV and Jane seemed perfectly content watching it. Maura was just watching Jane. She had been on the brink of tears so many times that day, and Maura had felt so lost. She wasn't good with social interaction, much less dealing with people who were sad.

So she hung on the sidelines, hoping for spot in time where she could just do _something_ for Jane. She tried her hand at humor, tried persuasion, but eventually family worked out in the end. Maura subconsciously tucked that little tidbit away. In the end, it was being around family that made Jane happy.

_Maybe someday, being around me will brighten up her days._

Maura glanced at the last few seconds of the relay race that was on. The USA swim team was a few feet ahead of France, just barely touching the wall before them. That's how she felt with Jane. She was always one step behind the clever detective when it came to her feelings. When Jane felt something strongly, she tended to hide it away, because she didn't want people to think she was weak. At least, that's what Maura thought.

_Let me help you, Jane._

She played with her ring, a habit she'd unwillingly adapted from her father. When the Rizzoli family had included her in their hug, she'd felt so at home, so wanted. At times she'd felt that feeling from Jane, but not recently. It was as if the hard-assed detective was slowly pushing everyone away, and Maura wanted desperately to stay.

_If you push everyone away, if you refuse to let someone love you, you'll forever be cold._

Maura knew cold. She knew clinical. Before people knew her, when they heard her speak in clinical terms and stare into the eyes of death without faltering, they thought she was cold. Jane was probably the warmest person she knew, but she also thought of herself as warm, at times. She knew that if she was ever given the chance, she would be warm and kind-hearted to the ones she loved.

Angela had given her a chance, and she'd almost lost that today. She smiled at the memory of being engulfed in a famous Rizzoli group hug. She'd been squished between Jane and Frankie, and she had loved every uncomfortable minute of it. She felt loved and she felt wanted and she never wanted it to end.

She glanced over at Jane again, who was taking a sip of beer as she scrolled through her phone. She didn't know how to have this conversation. She'd never had to express to someone how infinitely she cared for them. Jane must've felt her eyes on her because she turned to face Maura, but she didn't notice how her friend's breath hitched or how her eyes were gazing intently at her lips.

Maura didn't quite know when exactly she fell for her friend, but she had definitely fallen. Maybe it was that night when Jane had taken refuge at her house in the wake of Hoyt's wrath.

_"Are we having a sleepover or is this you way of telling me you're attracted to me?"_

Maura had never had someone come to her for comfort, or security. She figured people came to someone like Jane, but what happened when someone like Jane was scared? Jane couldn't be her own security blanket.

Maybe it was when they began to tell Giovanni they weren't interested and ended with them saying they were interested in each other. Maura had felt a surge of pure adrenaline go through her when Jane's arms had been wrapped tightly around her, that she had to lick to lips at the time.

_"We're… LLBFFs. We are life-long best friends forever."_

Now that she thought about it, the idea itself had been completely absurd. Jane didn't have to go along with it. It had been unlike Maura to make a spur of the moment decision like that, and to even lie about it. Only the stability of Jane's arms around her had kept her going, otherwise she'd have probably fainted.

Or maybe it was that night where they both lay awake on Jane's mattress.

_"I had this dumb idea that I would say my vows at Fenway over home plate… in a Red Sox jersey. And we would have the reception over the pitcher's mound… and the quest would throw peanuts at us instead of rice."_

Funny how when Maura was listening to Jane she was thinking about walking towards Jane at the end of the aisle, or across the field. She thought about saying her vows to the one person who meant the most to her… and that person happened to wearing a hideous Red Sox jersey. Jane came to her mind when she imagined her wedding, not a faceless man in a tux. Her best friend, the one person who knew her better than anyone else, the love of her life.

Maura didn't know exactly know when she fell in love with Jane, but she guessed it didn't matter.

Maura looked up into big brown eyes and smiled weakly as butterflies fluttered around in her chest. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Jane said slowly. "I am. It'll be better with Ma, I'm sure. I should be asking if you're okay, after that hug."

Maura smiled, lighting up her face. "I'm fine, Jane."

The brunette studied her for a moment before her brow furrowed. "Then why do you look so sad?"

That's how well Jane knew Maura. It also broke her inside, because here she was sitting next to the person she was in love with, all the while smiling like an idiot, and Jane knew that something was off. It brought tears to her eyes. "I…"

"Hey, don't cry, Maur. I'm sorry. Did I do something?" Jane leaned forward, extending her hand to brush off the tear that was sliding down Maura's cheek.

"No, no, it's not you," Maura said, her gaze towards the floor. When she looked up, she was face to face with Jane's concerned brown eyes… She couldn't help herself.

She leaned forward about five inches, closing the space between them and pressing her lips against Jane's. Jane didn't react at all, she didn't lean into the kiss, nor did she back away. She gently rested her hands on Maura's shoulders and when Maura pulled away, she engulfed her friend in a hug.

Maura started to really cry now, her sobs ratcheting into Jane's shoulder. Her voice was muffled, but it was clear what she was saying. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jane."

"Shhh, Maura. It's okay."

Maura attempted to pull back, this was not her. She didn't act on impulse and now that she had, she'd most likely screwed up the best relationship she'd ever been in. Jane held her in place, which made Maura extremely frustrated that the detective was stronger than her. Jane shifted so she was laying down the length of the couch with Maura half on top of her. She ran a hand through Maura's hair, trying to reassure her.

As Maura lay there, she felt her heartbeat get considerably faster. She was hit with the hope that maybe she hadn't done the wrong thing. Maybe she hadn't ruined their perfectly platonic relationship. "Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Sure thing." Jane pressed a kiss to the top of Maura's head, knowing that it felt weird, but at the same time it felt right. She wanted to be there for Maura, so she was.

"I have everything to say to you, but I don't know where to start."

"We probably should talk," Jane admitted.

"But first," Maura said, attempting to hide her giggle. "Weenis."

"Maura!" Jane shifted, trying to unbalance the doctor. "I will push you onto the floor."

"Okay, okay, fine."

"How about we just go to sleep?"

Maura nodded her head in the crook of Jane's shoulder, seemingly getting comfortable. After a few minutes, the two were both attempting to keep their eyes open.

"Weenis," Maura whispered, but Jane heard it because Maura's mouth was near her ear. That was when Jane pushed Maura onto the floor.

* * *

A/N: I wanted to try writing feelings. Did I do okay? Hope you enjoy reading! I guess I'll make this a two-shot, the other side having Jane's feelings. Should be updated soon.


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